I've been trying to learn the New York Dolls song on the recorder. Do you remember the recorder? The recorder is a wind instrument that, when I was in grade school, they made us learn. Or try to learn. As far as I can tell, no amount of musical talent or practice can make a recorder sound good. I'm trying to overcome by anxiety and depression by doing activities that normally I would never dare to try. I guess I think that by breaking out of my daily rut and doing weird things, maybe I will rewire my brain and stop being such a miserable fuck. So I got on Amazon and purchased a Yamaha Soprano Recorder YRS in transparent red. Every Saturday, I go downtown to the corner of Idaho and 11th and practice playing Trash by the New York Dolls. Practicing in public is part of my strategy to overcome my fears. I take an empty five gallon bucket to sit on. I work for a painting company, so five gallon buckets are easy to come by.
People pretty much ignore me. Some people look at me and pause, like maybe they think I'm a street musician and then quickly move on. The noise coming out of the recorder is not music. Its a horrific sound. One day a kid spit on me. He must have been twelve or thirteen. He was alone, walking down the street. He didn't pause. He didn't listen to me play for a second. In mid stride, he turned his head and spit in my face and walked on. I was so shocked, I didn't do anything. Later, laying in bed unable to sleep and replaying the event in my mind, I fantasized about chasing him down and beating the shit out of him. But I didn't do that. I wiped the spit from my face, picked up my five gallon bucket, and went home.
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